?

Log in

 
 
28 May 2014 @ 08:28 am
The harder it is to decide, the less it matters  
Several years ago, wotw gave me (well, someone sitting near me) some excellent advice that has served me well ever since. This person was struggling with a big life decision, had two very appealing and very different options, and didn't know which to choose. wotw said, "The harder a decision is, the less it matters which you choose."

This was super counterintuitive to me at first, especially given the importance and magnitude of the choice in front of this person. But over time, this point has led me out of internal deadlocks time and again.

It's not that the details don't matter; obviously they do. But decisions aren't difficult when there's an obvious best choice. They're hard when my mental pro-vs-con lists are well balanced against each other. No wonder it's difficult to think my way out of those dilemmas!

And in those times, being able to remind myself that the more difficult it is to decide, the less it matters, has saved me time, agony, indecision, and later, second-guessing.
 
 
 
blkblk on May 28th, 2014 03:25 pm (UTC)
Oh! Yes, this is good advice! Good for pondering.
Mizarchivist: Huhmizarchivist on May 28th, 2014 03:37 pm (UTC)
Interesting. I'd never considered that. Can you give an example from your experience to help me solidify the premise?

And I guess I'm trying to imagine, the yeah, but then what?
unintentional baitredheadedmuse on May 28th, 2014 10:53 pm (UTC)
This is totally the thing I needed to be reminded of just now.
Regytregyt on May 29th, 2014 12:08 pm (UTC)
Me too!
metaphortunate sonmetaphortunate on May 29th, 2014 04:41 am (UTC)
Thank you so much for posting this! I really needed to see this today.
BOB!!: Cruiser'scruiser on June 2nd, 2014 03:08 pm (UTC)
On a related note, a wise person once gave me a piece of advice regarding making the choice. If, after thinking about it long and hard, weighing the pros and cons, you still aren't sure which to pick, flip a coin. While the coin is in the air, if you find yourself hoping for one outcome over the other, you know your preference, so you should go ahead and pick that one. If you don't find yourself hoping, you might as well let the coin decide, so you can get on with the business of committing to it and getting it done.