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20 February 2015 @ 09:04 am
Confessional 2015  
Tell me a secret! Tell me a not-secret! Whisper sweet somethings in my comment box. Express your maddest crush or deepest curiosity! Expound upon the fabulousness of your friends or lovers or would-be friends or lovers! Or people you know or want to know. Do it anonymously or with your name attached; anonymous commenting is on and IP logging is off.

You know you want to!

[Please note ground rules here.]

[Link to flat version of comments is here.]

A note on user experience: If you're starting a new thread, if you give it a subject, it'll be easier to pick out comments in response to it down the road.

ETA: IP logging is back on!
 
 
I'm feeling: curiouscurious
 
 
 
Mizarchivist: Dorkmizarchivist on February 20th, 2015 02:09 pm (UTC)
AHHH! FIRST!
Have fun, kids. Play nice.
(Anonymous) on February 21st, 2015 02:39 am (UTC)
Playing nice would be such fun!
(Anonymous) on February 20th, 2015 02:14 pm (UTC)
aroraborealis
aroraborealis is the bomb!
(Anonymous) on February 20th, 2015 03:38 pm (UTC)
Re: aroraborealis
I like how she delights in making things happen.
Re: aroraborealis - (Anonymous) on February 20th, 2015 06:43 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: aroraborealis - aroraborealis on February 20th, 2015 06:47 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: aroraborealis - (Anonymous) on February 20th, 2015 07:05 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: aroraborealis - (Anonymous) on February 20th, 2015 07:28 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: aroraborealis - (Anonymous) on March 2nd, 2015 02:03 am (UTC) (Expand)
(Anonymous) on February 20th, 2015 02:14 pm (UTC)
I know I'm not a bad parent, but...
3 year olds are hard. When they don't listen. And laugh at your mounting frustration and anger, even when you are trying SO HARD to be the adult, and use your words and "I Feel" statements, to start this kid off on the right track. And then you end up literally screaming in their face. And making them cry. And feeling like a monster. And then apologizing...

I know it won't always be like this. That I'm only human. That I have 2 books waiting for me at the library reserve desk that might help. And set up at the school system for ongoing screening to see if there really is a disconnect here, or this kid is just 3 and we have to wait it out and try hard to not yell.
(Anonymous) on February 20th, 2015 02:21 pm (UTC)
Re: I know I'm not a bad parent, but...
For what it's worth, I think that showing your kid(s) that you're human, and that humans lose it sometimes, especially when people around us are difficult, and that even though that happens, you still love them and hold yourself accountable for your mistakes is essential.

Or, in other words, on the basis of this, at least, you're not a bad parent.
Re: I know I'm not a bad parent, but... - (Anonymous) on February 20th, 2015 04:20 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: I know I'm not a bad parent, but... - (Anonymous) on February 20th, 2015 04:43 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: I know I'm not a bad parent, but... - (Anonymous) on February 20th, 2015 04:51 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: I know I'm not a bad parent, but... - (Anonymous) on February 20th, 2015 03:03 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: I know I'm not a bad parent, but... - (Anonymous) on February 20th, 2015 03:53 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: I know I'm not a bad parent, but... - (Anonymous) on February 20th, 2015 08:12 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: I know I'm not a bad parent, but... - (Anonymous) on February 22nd, 2015 03:59 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: I know I'm not a bad parent, but... - (Anonymous) on February 22nd, 2015 06:35 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: I know I'm not a bad parent, but... - (Anonymous) on February 24th, 2015 02:57 am (UTC) (Expand)
Re: I know I'm not a bad parent, but... - (Anonymous) on February 24th, 2015 04:30 am (UTC) (Expand)
Re: I know I'm not a bad parent, but... - (Anonymous) on February 24th, 2015 12:50 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: I know I'm not a bad parent, but... - (Anonymous) on February 24th, 2015 02:06 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: I know I'm not a bad parent, but... - (Anonymous) on February 24th, 2015 02:10 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: I know I'm not a bad parent, but... - (Anonymous) on February 25th, 2015 05:46 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: I know I'm not a bad parent, but... - (Anonymous) on February 27th, 2015 06:20 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: I know I'm not a bad parent, but... - (Anonymous) on February 23rd, 2015 04:53 am (UTC) (Expand)
Re: I know I'm not a bad parent, but... - (Anonymous) on February 23rd, 2015 05:44 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: I know I'm not a bad parent, but... - (Anonymous) on February 24th, 2015 05:56 am (UTC) (Expand)
Re: I know I'm not a bad parent, but... - (Anonymous) on February 25th, 2015 03:37 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: I know I'm not a bad parent, but... - (Anonymous) on February 25th, 2015 03:49 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: I know I'm not a bad parent, but... - (Anonymous) on February 25th, 2015 03:52 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: I know I'm not a bad parent, but... - (Anonymous) on March 1st, 2015 04:00 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: I know I'm not a bad parent, but... - (Anonymous) on March 1st, 2015 05:24 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: I know I'm not a bad parent, but... - (Anonymous) on March 1st, 2015 06:01 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: I know I'm not a bad parent, but... - (Anonymous) on March 2nd, 2015 05:45 am (UTC) (Expand)
(Anonymous) on February 20th, 2015 02:46 pm (UTC)
I used to have crushes all the time, and at some point in recent years, I just ... stopped having them. I miss it! I liked the shiny zing of seeing someone I had a crush on. I liked flirting with someone with a little extra pizzazz. I liked the feeling of potential out in the world, like there was always another layer possible if the connection was right.
(Anonymous) on February 20th, 2015 04:18 pm (UTC)
I enjoy having a crush even when I know there's no potential in it.

maybe I should say "think there's no potential" since I just thought of one time I was wrong about that, but I really believed it
(no subject) - (Anonymous) on February 20th, 2015 04:34 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(Anonymous) on February 20th, 2015 03:07 pm (UTC)
Test Thread
For all us Luddites who aren't sure if their posting anonymously or not ...
(Anonymous) on February 27th, 2015 06:07 pm (UTC)
Re: Test Thread
Testing...
(Anonymous) on February 20th, 2015 03:11 pm (UTC)
I really need a job with true flex time
I'm worn out from the amount of depression that my chronic health issues cause because of my fear of losing my job. When I'm too exhausted or unwell to be in the office or to work at all, the worst part is the second arrow of feeling like I've let down my company, my coworkers, my partner and my family. Not only am I not working, but I am either using vacation days or taking time unpaid, so I can contribute less to our household.

I'm the kind of person who will make up the time, who will do the work when I can. I have a strong work ethic, and fierce loyalty to the plaes I work. Why did the place that was accommodating me have to decide after 4 years that they can't anymore? Where can I find a safe haven to work in where I won't have to go through this again?

(Anonymous) on February 25th, 2015 12:55 am (UTC)
Re: I really need a job with true flex time
I'm in a somewhat similar place, so: solidarity and understanding. What sort of work do you do? Would brainstorming about potential employers/networking be helpful to you?
(Anonymous) on February 20th, 2015 03:15 pm (UTC)
Hazy Days of Winter
I usually have challenges with the Winter months. Anxiety, depression and S.A.D. I treat with Vitamin D, pulling out a sun lamp and daily affirmation. But this Winter - especially with the recent snow and the MBTA challenges, have been absolutely crushing to my spirit.

I feel like I am claustrophobic and the world is a crowded elevator and it's all I can do to get out the door to go to work in the morning.

I certainly have found no energy to work out - I'm an outdoor person and that isn't really happening. I can't seem to find the joy I once had in getting outside I once did.

How are you all finding coping strategies (or not) in dealing with this extraordinary Winter and do you too need help in pulling out of your own emotional morass?
(Anonymous) on February 20th, 2015 04:00 pm (UTC)
Re: Hazy Days of Winter
It has been *awful*. I think we're all about ready to snap. Or maybe we already have. I've been coping by complaining a lot on social media, because it really does feel good to know that the other people around me are struggling, too. I've been helping others out as much as I can, because I am lucky to have a little more elasticity than others. I've been throwing myself into my artistic and creative endeavors, especially those that involve looking at and combining pretty bright colors. I've been trying to get out when the getting's good, which is rare.

But in the large sense, I've been draining my reservoirs of cope and patience and "pragmatic good humor", in the hope that they will refill come May or June or July.
Re: Hazy Days of Winter - (Anonymous) on February 21st, 2015 06:34 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Hazy Days of Winter - (Anonymous) on February 20th, 2015 04:18 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Hazy Days of Winter - (Anonymous) on February 20th, 2015 04:30 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Hazy Days of Winter - (Anonymous) on February 20th, 2015 04:54 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Hazy Days of Winter - (Anonymous) on February 20th, 2015 09:01 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Hazy Days of Winter - (Anonymous) on February 20th, 2015 09:30 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Hazy Days of Winter - (Anonymous) on February 20th, 2015 06:41 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Hazy Days of Winter - (Anonymous) on February 20th, 2015 07:56 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Hazy Days of Winter - (Anonymous) on February 21st, 2015 08:28 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Hazy Days of Winter - (Anonymous) on February 21st, 2015 09:13 pm (UTC) (Expand)
February - cos on February 24th, 2015 05:23 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: February - (Anonymous) on February 24th, 2015 05:41 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(Anonymous) on February 20th, 2015 03:24 pm (UTC)
YAY CONFESSIONAL.

Reading Secret on my phone can be fun, but it's no substitute.
(Anonymous) on February 20th, 2015 03:27 pm (UTC)
Secret is full of meanies if I venture outside my friends and fof circles. Bah on them. Here is much nicer thanks to our lovely host!
(no subject) - (Anonymous) on February 20th, 2015 03:31 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - (Anonymous) on February 20th, 2015 04:22 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - (Anonymous) on February 20th, 2015 04:45 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(Anonymous) on February 20th, 2015 03:39 pm (UTC)
can't opt out from loneliness
I always ask for a pat-down at the the airport. It's about privacy and protest, but also so that someone will touch me.
(Anonymous) on February 20th, 2015 03:43 pm (UTC)
Re: can't opt out from loneliness
I do it mainly out of protest, but also because it's the one part of the stupid fucking TSA bullshit that contains even an ounce of humanity. The pat-down is almost always done by a someone who is friendly and happy to chat for the 90 seconds the process takes.
Re: can't opt out from loneliness - (Anonymous) on February 20th, 2015 04:19 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: can't opt out from loneliness - (Anonymous) on February 20th, 2015 05:26 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: can't opt out from loneliness - (Anonymous) on February 20th, 2015 07:34 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: can't opt out from loneliness - (Anonymous) on February 21st, 2015 11:16 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: can't opt out from loneliness - (Anonymous) on February 22nd, 2015 10:26 am (UTC) (Expand)
Re: can't opt out from loneliness - (Anonymous) on February 22nd, 2015 04:30 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: can't opt out from loneliness - (Anonymous) on February 23rd, 2015 05:51 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(Anonymous) on February 20th, 2015 03:51 pm (UTC)
Clandestine
I'm having sex and for several reasons I think that almost everyone I know would disapprove. But it is some of the best sex of my life and just when I needed it.
(Anonymous) on February 20th, 2015 04:12 pm (UTC)
Re: Clandestine
Disapprove of this particular situation, or disapprove of you having sex at all?
Re: Clandestine - (Anonymous) on February 20th, 2015 04:16 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Clandestine - (Anonymous) on February 20th, 2015 04:29 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Clandestine - (Anonymous) on February 20th, 2015 04:46 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Clandestine - (Anonymous) on February 20th, 2015 09:06 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(Anonymous) on February 20th, 2015 03:53 pm (UTC)
I worry that having a partner who is rough around the edges socially and is hard for many people to get along with reflects poorly on me and may be losing me friendships or potential relationships.
(Anonymous) on February 20th, 2015 04:13 pm (UTC)
Me too. I also worry about being that partner.

On the bright side, the captcha for this was "you rock!" Yes, seriously. Maybe the world is trying to tell us to not worry so much about what other people think and just rock out with our awesome selves and partners.
(no subject) - (Anonymous) on February 20th, 2015 04:17 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - (Anonymous) on February 20th, 2015 05:47 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - (Anonymous) on February 21st, 2015 08:33 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - (Anonymous) on February 20th, 2015 06:03 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - (Anonymous) on February 20th, 2015 06:22 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - (Anonymous) on February 20th, 2015 11:39 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - (Anonymous) on February 21st, 2015 01:09 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - (Anonymous) on February 21st, 2015 04:10 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - (Anonymous) on February 21st, 2015 11:39 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - (Anonymous) on February 21st, 2015 06:38 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - (Anonymous) on February 21st, 2015 10:54 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - (Anonymous) on February 24th, 2015 06:24 am (UTC) (Expand)
(Anonymous) on February 20th, 2015 04:46 pm (UTC)
A couple of years ago I posted in the confessional thread about this brain-melting crush I had and how giddy I was. Well, that didn't work out, the person turned out not to be nearly as awesome as I thought they were, we'd be miserable together, etc., etc. We're friends, but it's a little weird. And I'm not over them at all. There's nothing giddy about this crush anymore. It's no fun. It's almost grim. My head is completely baffled as to why this is still going on, and the rest of me has apparently lost all reason and is still hung up. I think about the person way more than they deserve. It's dumb and exhausting and I wish it would go away. And it's making me wary of new crushes because who needs this? I like the giddy part lots, but if it leads to this, blah. :(
(Anonymous) on February 20th, 2015 05:01 pm (UTC)
I'm in the same boat, although my crush was more recent than yours. I wish I could put this other person out of my mind entirely, and yet I still mourn the loss of that amazing giddy time, which frankly I don't expect ever to have again.
(Anonymous) on February 20th, 2015 05:14 pm (UTC)
I've spent most of the last decade evolving, moving past toxic relationships and damaging behavior, and learning how to be an adult and a good partner to those I share my life with. At what point do I stop craving random irresponsible furniture-breaking bad idea sex with people of questionable emotional stability?
(Anonymous) on February 20th, 2015 05:51 pm (UTC)
Speaking as someone who *also* spent a decade seeking toxic relationships and engaging in bad behavior... you don't ever stop craving bad idea sex. Not *completely*.
(no subject) - (Anonymous) on February 21st, 2015 12:31 am (UTC) (Expand)
bad idea sex - (Anonymous) on February 21st, 2015 12:40 am (UTC) (Expand)
Channel it, is my only advice - (Anonymous) on February 21st, 2015 01:03 am (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Channel it, is my only advice - (Anonymous) on February 21st, 2015 08:36 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Channel it, is my only advice - (Anonymous) on February 21st, 2015 08:47 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(Anonymous) on February 20th, 2015 05:55 pm (UTC)
like a moth to flame
I promised myself I wouldn't participate in the confessional, this year, but apparently, I cannot stay away.
(Anonymous) on February 20th, 2015 06:08 pm (UTC)
Re: like a moth to flame
Neither can I. I've gotten way too many good friends and way too much incredible sex from it.
Re: like a moth to flame - (Anonymous) on February 20th, 2015 06:24 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - (Anonymous) on February 21st, 2015 06:42 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: like a moth to flame - (Anonymous) on February 21st, 2015 09:02 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: like a moth to flame - (Anonymous) on February 28th, 2015 11:05 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(Anonymous) on February 20th, 2015 06:02 pm (UTC)
Addiction
I'm having a lot of trouble with addiction. Skipping from one thing to another, realizing that something isn't good for me, and just moving to something else. Alcohol, drugs I can get my hands on, relationships (I'm married with a family) and dating, video games on my phone or the computer. I think I'm addicted to being numb, to tuning out, to sleep and oblivion. I'm addicted to being wanted. I'm fantasizing constantly about going down on someone other than my partner. Meanwhile, my house is a mess, my work is sputtering along, and I'm getting fat. I'm not getting anything done because I'm watching Netflix and looking at Facebook. I hate Facebook. I'm scared, so scared that I'm too weak to handle this. All I seem to be able to do is the bare minimum to keep things going, meanwhile chasing the high and letting things drop. I feel terrible about my life, my wonderful life.
(Anonymous) on February 20th, 2015 08:28 pm (UTC)
Re: Addiction
sounds more like depression than addiction. Depression pushes us to do things in a compulsive way that can be hard to distinguish from physical addiction.
Re: Addiction - (Anonymous) on February 20th, 2015 08:55 pm (UTC) (Expand)