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02 August 2011 @ 07:05 am
 

Does life happen to you, or do you happen to life?

life happens to me
9(27.3%)
I happen to life
24(72.7%)
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Renata Piperlyonesse on August 2nd, 2011 11:06 am (UTC)
both, i guess.
Delores: swandebsquared on August 2nd, 2011 11:34 am (UTC)
"I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul."
Madame Blue aka Pygmentsweetmmeblue on August 2nd, 2011 11:37 am (UTC)
yes
embrace the power of and.
existential hot showerveek on August 2nd, 2011 11:39 am (UTC)
Life happens to me too, of course. But even then, I transform that whether I want to or not, via my reaction to it.
blkblk on August 2nd, 2011 12:10 pm (UTC)
Between those two choices, I would choose the latter.

If it were more of a FITB, I would probably say "I move through life," since "happening" to it feels like I should have more kinds of of impact or control than I think I do. But my pattern is more than I see what is there and I take it and I make it work for me, ideally in fluid, happy and agile-seeming ways.
(Deleted comment)
evolution, and some other stuffjacflash on August 2nd, 2011 12:35 pm (UTC)
Does blue happen to sky, or does sky happen to blue?
Brother Claymore of Desirable Mindfulness: blonde cat gunslifecollage on August 2nd, 2011 12:39 pm (UTC)
I agree with other commenters that really, both are true. However, I used to only believe the first answer, so I choose the second in recognition of how much healthier my brain space is now.
The other side of Deliriumtaura_g on August 2nd, 2011 01:04 pm (UTC)
Both
Life happens to me but what I do with it happens to life.
harimad on August 2nd, 2011 02:10 pm (UTC)
Re: Both
This is a good representation of my thoughts as well.

Since I was forced to choose I chose option B - because I would like that to be the more accurate of the two.
"I've been ionized.  But I'm okay now."gentlescholar on August 2nd, 2011 01:15 pm (UTC)
I have always erred on the side of believing I was powerless to affect the world. I'm moving toward a middle position these days.
funner'n a sack a weaselsmoominmolly on August 2nd, 2011 01:56 pm (UTC)
It seems on the face of it like "I happen to life" should be the Right Choice, since it's the most active and full of agency, and we do love people who are active and full of agency, while "life happens to me" is the statement of a chronic victim and we do dislike chronic victimhood. But I believe there is a place where you can come out the other side of "I happen to life" and be more at peace.

If "I happen to life", then everything is my choice and my fault. Get into an argument with my boss? I DID THAT. Fall off a bus? I DID THAT. Can't seem to keep my partner from being depressed and drinking too much? I DID THAT. This gets extremely tiring and wastes a lot of energy.

On the other hand, if "life happens to me", then that allows me to be doing my thing in my corner, and you to be doing your thing in your corner, and both of us to be rolling with the punches. I'm happening, you're happening, we're all happening to each other all the time, and the measure of a person in the world is not where they place the blame for a bad thing, but what they do afterwards to make it better.

So: life happens to me, but that's no excuse for me to stop doing my thing when I get dealt some lemons.
fanwfanw on August 2nd, 2011 07:18 pm (UTC)
I agree the dichotomy leaves too much implied "rightness" in the second answer.

My reply? "I ride life"

And in my mind life is more my steed than a rollercoaster. I guide where it goes but I get bonus points for acquiescing to its basic needs of love, nourishment, and not running it too hard.
DancingWolfGrrldancingwolfgrrl on August 2nd, 2011 02:16 pm (UTC)
I am really, really aware of the extent to which my ability to be Little Miss Internal Locus of Control has to do with me being someone who is wildly privileged in the world. Most of the things I'm not willing to pin down to personal responsibility are things that are big and terrible -- cancer, racism, poverty -- and they are not huge forces in my life due entirely to things that happened to me and were beyond my control.
The Hebrew Hammercockhammercock on August 2nd, 2011 02:27 pm (UTC)
I think that "both" is more true for most folks than they'd like to admit. I also think that the former is more true of my life since having a baby 3 weeks ago.
Regytregyt on August 2nd, 2011 02:55 pm (UTC)
Deja vu!

I've been trying really, really hard to hold onto my zen this past month and just let life happen to me. It's hard for me. Really hard for me. My instinct is to be all tense and type A about everything.
whynotkaywhynotkay on August 2nd, 2011 04:03 pm (UTC)
I was thinking of the poll differently than other seem to be interpreting it. Overall, I seem to be drifting through life rather than picking somewhere particular I'd like to get to and working towards that goal. It might be time to work on that again.
Elizabeth Hunterlillibet on August 2nd, 2011 04:51 pm (UTC)
I'm actually pretty proud of how balanced those aspects are in my life. I have been lucky enough to have some great opportunities and choices, but I've also made the most of them and picked well.
catcatya on August 2nd, 2011 05:34 pm (UTC)
Last year, life happened to me. This year, it's about a 50-50 shot. Next year, I expect to be back to my usual say 25-75 :)