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20 March 2013 @ 10:04 am
I read MetaFilter and AskMetafilter with some regularity, so I also follow MetaTalk, where people talk about how the other sites work, how people interact with them, etc. Relationship questions are super common on AskMe, and they're sometimes interesting and sometimes appalling and sometimes frustrating ... much like people and relationships themselves. This morning, someone on MetaTalk complained about how some people use AskMe to ask more or less the same question again and again, never seeming to take in the advice or thoughts that they were ostensibly looking for in earlier questions. The first comment on that post is brilliant and funny, and I am copying it here for posterity, and to remind myself of this pattern when I'm playing the role of the OP and my friends are all tearing their hair out:
OP: "Help! HELP! I'm stuck in a well!!!"
Goons1-4: "Climb! Climb up and take our hands!"
OP: "I'm thinking I should dig... should I dig?"
Goon5: "NO! I was trapped in a well, and digging is a bad idea! Climb out!"
Goons6-8: "Were lowering ropes! Take hold of a rope!"
Goon9: "I've even tied a harness to the end of this one!"
OP: "I can feel the ropes, but I don't want to hold onto them... should I dig?"
Goon10: "No! If you dig, you'll hit water, and then you'll be proper fucked. I should know, I almost drowned."
OP: "I dug a little bit just now, and I haven't hit water. I'm gonna keep digging..."
Goons11-18: "No! Climb! Climb out!"
OP: "Guys, I'm seriously stuck in this well! Help! HELP!!!"
Goon19: "I was trapped in a well once. It took me two years, but I managed to build a climbing machine that pulled me to safety out of a well bucket and a pocket watch. I'm dropping the blueprints, extra buckets, and an assortment of pocket watches."
Goon20: "I've engineered a jet-pack that will rocket you to safety. Stay where you are and we'll lower it down!""
"OP: "Thanks for your help, guys. I'm gonna keep digging. I'll find the Mines of Moria and I'll just walk to the surface."
**Goons1-20 piss in the well**
Goon21: "Guys, seriously... stop peeing in the well."
I'm feeling: amusedamused
Elizabeth Hunterlillibet on March 20th, 2013 03:20 pm (UTC)
Brilliant! And all too familiar, yes.
TWPyouvebeenpixied on March 20th, 2013 04:31 pm (UTC)
That is fabulous! Humans are the same all over.
Mouseketeer Stigmatatrom on March 20th, 2013 04:31 pm (UTC)
I am so often the person in the well.....
Mizarchivist: Avatar- Don't fuck with memizarchivist on March 20th, 2013 04:37 pm (UTC)
My niece is in that well. She really wants to find Moria with her bare hands.
drwexdrwex on March 21st, 2013 10:20 pm (UTC)
The first thing you should do when you find yourself in a hole
is "stop digging".

Sometimes we say we are "taking away $person's shovel privileges"
Boring Nerd: wolf kahnsignsoflife on March 25th, 2013 12:02 am (UTC)
Why, yes, that is exactly what Ask_Me is like.

But sometimes, people do take hold of the rope.