ruthless compassion (aroraborealis) wrote,
ruthless compassion

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Followup to yesterday's post/email: The guy responded right away to apologize, take responsibility for his actions, acknowledge that didn't have a clear memory of the evening, apologize again, and generally be a stand-up person in the aftermath of a fuck up. I'm very satisfied with the result and glad I wrote the email, and it supports my impression that he was a basically good person making a misstep, rather than a Bad Character.

I also (oh, social training, fuck you very much) find myself feeling bad for him, and vaguely guilty for making his life harder. He was a kind of socially awkward but pretty nice person who seemed a little insecure, and I imagine that this is going to make him MORE socially awkward and that makes me feel bad and wish I could give him a hug and pat him on the back and say, "Oh, it's totally okay now, everything's fine, don't worry about it!" I'm not going to, because it's not my job and I'm not responsible for his experience, but it is SO HARD for me to remove myself from doing that kind of social facilitation sometimes. Ugh.
Tags: feminism

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