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20 February 2015 @ 09:04 am
Confessional 2015  
Tell me a secret! Tell me a not-secret! Whisper sweet somethings in my comment box. Express your maddest crush or deepest curiosity! Expound upon the fabulousness of your friends or lovers or would-be friends or lovers! Or people you know or want to know. Do it anonymously or with your name attached; anonymous commenting is on and IP logging is off.

You know you want to!

[Please note ground rules here.]

[Link to flat version of comments is here.]

A note on user experience: If you're starting a new thread, if you give it a subject, it'll be easier to pick out comments in response to it down the road.

ETA: IP logging is back on!
 
 
I'm feeling: curiouscurious
 
 
 
(Anonymous) on February 25th, 2015 08:53 pm (UTC)
Kinks and body mods
I'm seriously considering getting my 1st-ever piercing - a PA - so that I can end up locked up in to a chastity device that I can't slip myself out of.

I'm not sure how I feel about how this kink is progressing, but it's been around for a fair while now and hasn't gone away yet.

Has anyone done this? Has it worked well for you? Willing to chat about it?
(Anonymous) on February 25th, 2015 09:08 pm (UTC)
Re: Kinks and body mods
I don't know anything about this particular piercing and am not drawn to that particular kink, but the general idea of actually modifying one's body for sexual purposes seems insanely hot to me. I hope you find it's at least as fun for you as you hope.
Re: Kinks and body mods - (Anonymous) on February 26th, 2015 01:38 am (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Kinks and body mods - (Anonymous) on February 26th, 2015 03:22 am (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Kinks and body mods - (Anonymous) on February 26th, 2015 04:09 am (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Kinks and body mods - (Anonymous) on February 26th, 2015 04:39 am (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Kinks and body mods - (Anonymous) on February 27th, 2015 12:47 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Kinks and body mods - (Anonymous) on February 27th, 2015 05:03 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Kinks and body mods - (Anonymous) on February 27th, 2015 05:57 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Kinks and body mods - (Anonymous) on February 27th, 2015 11:45 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Kinks and body mods - (Anonymous) on March 1st, 2015 10:10 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Kinks and body mods - (Anonymous) on March 1st, 2015 10:38 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(Anonymous) on February 25th, 2015 09:53 pm (UTC)
people with penises, or caregivers of kids with penises
what would you say is the oldest age at which (mostly unconsciously) playing with your penis while snuggled with a non-sexual-relationship someone can be shrugged off? i don't want to give my kid a complex, and i do ask him to stop when i see it, but it still happens, rather often.
(Anonymous) on February 25th, 2015 09:57 pm (UTC)
Re: people with penises, or caregivers of kids with penises
I am parent of a person with a penis and our household rule was that playing with it was something you only did when you were alone, starting from I guess when they were out of diapers. It was never shrugged off, although it did take many, many reminders, as everything with young children usually does.
Re: people with penises, or caregivers of kids with penises - (Anonymous) on February 25th, 2015 10:05 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: people with penises, or caregivers of kids with penises - (Anonymous) on February 25th, 2015 11:16 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: people with penises, or caregivers of kids with penises - (Anonymous) on February 26th, 2015 08:42 am (UTC) (Expand)
Re: people with penises, or caregivers of kids with penises - (Anonymous) on February 26th, 2015 11:37 am (UTC) (Expand)
Re: people with penises, or caregivers of kids with penises - (Anonymous) on February 26th, 2015 12:49 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: people with penises, or caregivers of kids with penises - (Anonymous) on February 27th, 2015 12:59 am (UTC) (Expand)
(Anonymous) on February 26th, 2015 12:15 am (UTC)
I waited too long
I waited for decades to get what I wanted very badly. I tried to be scrupulously honest, and to put others' needs above my own desires. I was really careful.

And now it's too late, and I'm too old, and I am trapped by my obligations, and my body is failing me in one way after another. It's nobody's fault but mine.
(Anonymous) on February 26th, 2015 03:45 pm (UTC)
Re: I waited too long
I'm sorry.

Are there other desires you can redirect to?
(Anonymous) on February 26th, 2015 12:38 am (UTC)
delightful results from last year's confessional :-)
So anyone who remembers this thread (http://aroraborealis.livejournal.com/1074433.html?thread=18006785#t18006785)from last year:


We did indeed get together and have been dating for the last year. It has been utterly and completely awesome!

(And thank you so much to aroraborealis for hosting the confessional and making it possible for this to happen and for generally facilitating awesomeness!)
(Anonymous) on February 26th, 2015 12:50 am (UTC)
Re: delightful results from last year's confessional :-)
And this would be the correct link: :-)

http://aroraborealis.livejournal.com/1074433.html?thread=18006785#t18006785

Re: delightful results from last year's confessional :-) - (Anonymous) on February 26th, 2015 01:36 am (UTC) (Expand)
Re: delightful results from last year's confessional :-) - (Anonymous) on February 26th, 2015 06:21 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: delightful results from last year's confessional :-) - (Anonymous) on February 26th, 2015 03:09 am (UTC) (Expand)
Re: delightful results from last year's confessional :-) - (Anonymous) on February 26th, 2015 04:43 am (UTC) (Expand)
(Anonymous) on February 26th, 2015 01:04 am (UTC)
Tell me about Tindr
Just out of idle curiosity. I heard a bunch of 30-ish people tossing around startup ideas recently, and I was startled by what a touchstone Tindr was, its UI explicitly an inspiration for several of the apps they were proposing.

Lotsa people discussing OKC here, but I haven't seen any discussion of Tindr yet. How much is it a hookup thing vs. a dating thing?
(Anonymous) on February 26th, 2015 02:26 am (UTC)
Re: Tell me about Tinder
Pet peeve: Seeing Tinder spelled without the e :)

Could be it's more a hook-you-up-with-bots thing.
Re: Tell me about Tindr - (Anonymous) on February 26th, 2015 05:19 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(Anonymous) on February 26th, 2015 01:12 am (UTC)
Tell us a fantasy...
What is one of the hottest fantasies you have ever had?

(Anonymous) on February 26th, 2015 01:15 am (UTC)
Re: Tell us a fantasy...
i've just won the lottery.
Re: Tell us a fantasy... - (Anonymous) on February 26th, 2015 01:56 am (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Tell us a fantasy... - (Anonymous) on February 26th, 2015 02:09 am (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Tell us a fantasy... - (Anonymous) on February 26th, 2015 02:05 am (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Tell us a fantasy... - (Anonymous) on February 26th, 2015 03:04 am (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Tell us a fantasy... - (Anonymous) on February 26th, 2015 04:54 am (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Tell us a fantasy... - (Anonymous) on February 26th, 2015 05:01 am (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Tell us a fantasy... - (Anonymous) on February 27th, 2015 02:13 am (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Tell us a fantasy... - (Anonymous) on February 27th, 2015 05:02 am (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Tell us a fantasy... - (Anonymous) on February 28th, 2015 03:46 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Tell us a fantasy... - (Anonymous) on February 28th, 2015 07:01 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Tell us a fantasy... - (Anonymous) on March 1st, 2015 05:00 am (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Tell us a fantasy... - (Anonymous) on March 2nd, 2015 06:25 am (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Tell us a fantasy... - (Anonymous) on March 2nd, 2015 05:13 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Tell us a fantasy... - (Anonymous) on March 2nd, 2015 05:20 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Tell us a fantasy... - (Anonymous) on March 2nd, 2015 05:21 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Tell us a fantasy... - (Anonymous) on March 2nd, 2015 07:11 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Tell us a fantasy... - (Anonymous) on March 2nd, 2015 09:12 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Tell us a fantasy... - (Anonymous) on March 2nd, 2015 09:13 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Tell us a fantasy... - (Anonymous) on March 2nd, 2015 09:32 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Tell us a fantasy... - (Anonymous) on March 2nd, 2015 09:41 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(Anonymous) on February 26th, 2015 01:21 am (UTC)
more crushes
goddessfarmer
qwerty
wereterrier

are all just incredibly hot. Would happily play with any of them.
(Anonymous) on February 26th, 2015 01:52 am (UTC)
I have so much more with you than I ever dared to hope.

And I wish that I could have so much more.
(Anonymous) on February 26th, 2015 01:55 am (UTC)
I don't love my family. My siblings bore me, through no fault of their own. My mother I now dislike rather than hate. I liked my dad but had nothing in common with him. But the thing is, I never cared about any of them except my dad, even as a kid.

I have a lot of caring and passion and compassion, but I just can't summon any for the people I am "supposed" to feel for.
(Anonymous) on March 2nd, 2015 05:22 pm (UTC)
not loving your family
This is an entirely healthy way to be, if it's what serves who you are and what you want to be in the world. I also think it's fairly common. People in my broader social circle seem to tend toward NOT being close to their families.

(captcha: 'tight lipped'. oh my. I believe that's a different thread.)
(no subject) - (Anonymous) on March 2nd, 2015 05:29 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(Anonymous) on February 26th, 2015 02:58 am (UTC)
Open suggestion to hosts of TKOP
One of the first That Kind of Parties I went to had a "Wall of Shame," which was inaptly named but a wonderful concept. Attendees were encouraged to write what they were looking for, such that anyone could come browse the offerings and have a better sense of whom to approach. It's so much easier to write these things down in a vague and slightly-more-anonymous format than to say directly to a stranger's face, "I want these weird things, how about you?"

TKOP hosts: why is this not a staple feature of every TKOP? Yes, I've benefitted from the ministrations of fantasy fairies in finding these weird things, and I've carried my own signs stating that I want these weird things, and eventually I got better at using my big-kid words to say directly to a stranger's face that I want these weird things. But it seems such a basic, simple, easily-scalable ice-breaker, I suspect that most parties would benefit from one.

(Captcha: One Deposit Checking)
(Anonymous) on February 26th, 2015 03:11 am (UTC)
Re: Open suggestion to hosts of TKOP
seconded!
Re: Open suggestion to hosts of TKOP - (Anonymous) on February 26th, 2015 01:33 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Open suggestion to hosts of TKOP - (Anonymous) on February 26th, 2015 03:02 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Open suggestion to hosts of TKOP - (Anonymous) on February 26th, 2015 03:18 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Open suggestion to hosts of TKOP - (Anonymous) on February 26th, 2015 04:27 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Open suggestion to hosts of TKOP - (Anonymous) on February 26th, 2015 06:59 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Open suggestion to hosts of TKOP - mzrowan on February 26th, 2015 08:58 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Open suggestion to hosts of TKOP - (Anonymous) on February 26th, 2015 05:23 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Open suggestion to hosts of TKOP - (Anonymous) on February 26th, 2015 08:45 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(Anonymous) on February 26th, 2015 03:18 am (UTC)
I have a crush on Kory Stamper.

That is all.
(Anonymous) on February 26th, 2015 05:34 am (UTC)
This is delightful and reminded me of the confession post I wanted to make!

(captcha: more better)
(Anonymous) on February 26th, 2015 05:33 am (UTC)
Celebrity crush
I feel SO DOOFY asking this because, like, I'm not supposed to be this into celebrities..... but I totally am.

Who's your celebrity crush? What's your fantasy about them? THE CONFESSIONAL WANTS TO KNOW.

(Mine is that I run into JLaw at Starbucks and she wants to know what book I'm reading and we end up at a bar doing shots and gossiping raunchily.)

(I have many others.)
(Anonymous) on February 26th, 2015 01:23 pm (UTC)
Re: Celebrity crush
It can be difficult for me to differentiate between crushes on celebrities and crushes on characters, sometimes.

I do know I would love to believe that Fiona Apple and I had a torrid fling and she wrote a song about it.
Re: Celebrity crush - (Anonymous) on February 26th, 2015 03:43 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Celebrity crush - (Anonymous) on February 26th, 2015 01:30 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Celebrity crush - (Anonymous) on February 26th, 2015 05:03 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Celebrity crush - (Anonymous) on February 26th, 2015 10:53 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Celebrity crush - (Anonymous) on February 26th, 2015 11:06 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Celebrity crush - (Anonymous) on February 27th, 2015 02:01 am (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Celebrity crush - (Anonymous) on February 27th, 2015 02:45 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Celebrity crush - (Anonymous) on February 27th, 2015 09:48 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(Anonymous) on February 26th, 2015 01:50 pm (UTC)
Size incompatabilities
I am a heterosexual, cis-gentleman of size. Sort of a bear-type, to borrow a term from gay culture. I am, unfortunately, not attracted to large-bodied women. This puts me in the unfortunate position of feeling a fair amount of shame at both my own size, and my inability to conjure up attraction to those who share my girth.

A significant way this shame manifests is when I am at TKOP. I feel ashamed to invite someone I'm attracted to to play because I feel like I'm "reaching" and making a fool of myself. At the same time, if a woman of size approaches me for play of a sexual nature (kinky play is less of a problem because there isn't a "performance" aspect to straight-up kinky play), I have a difficult time being honest about not being attracted, so I usually play it off as not being into that sort of play at the moment, so as to not body shame someone the way I constantly body shame myself. Which then, of course, takes me off the playing field for the rest of the event for fear of exposing to the woman I turned down the truth that it wasn't that I was disinterested in any play, just such play with her.

I really, really wish I could just get over myself and become attracted to women of size. I love my friends of all sizes, but just like I have no sexually interested response to the idea of sex with men, I also have no sexually interested response to the idea of sex with women of size. I see their beauty, but can't get the blood flowing to the parts that need the blood.

I'm sorry. People deserve better than what I have to give.
(Anonymous) on February 26th, 2015 01:56 pm (UTC)
Re: Size incompatabilities
As a woman of size, I guarantee, I don't ever want to have sex or any kind of play with someone who believes that they don't deserve better.

Your personal attractions and desires are okay, but the shame you have around it -- and what that means for your partners -- sounds like something it would be really worthwhile for you to work on in therapy.
Re: Size incompatabilities - (Anonymous) on February 26th, 2015 01:58 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Size incompatabilities - (Anonymous) on February 26th, 2015 02:13 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Size incompatabilities - (Anonymous) on February 26th, 2015 02:17 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Size incompatabilities - (Anonymous) on February 26th, 2015 02:18 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Size incompatabilities - (Anonymous) on February 26th, 2015 06:45 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Size incompatabilities - (Anonymous) on February 26th, 2015 06:59 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Size incompatabilities - (Anonymous) on February 26th, 2015 10:06 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Size incompatabilities - (Anonymous) on February 26th, 2015 02:06 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Size incompatabilities - (Anonymous) on February 26th, 2015 02:10 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Size incompatabilities - (Anonymous) on February 26th, 2015 02:11 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Size incompatabilities - (Anonymous) on February 26th, 2015 02:12 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Size incompatabilities - (Anonymous) on February 26th, 2015 02:24 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Size incompatabilities - (Anonymous) on February 26th, 2015 02:26 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Size incompatabilities - (Anonymous) on February 26th, 2015 02:27 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Size incompatabilities - (Anonymous) on February 26th, 2015 02:29 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Size incompatabilities - (Anonymous) on February 26th, 2015 07:08 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Size incompatabilities - (Anonymous) on February 26th, 2015 10:11 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Size incompatabilities - (Anonymous) on February 27th, 2015 12:34 am (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Size incompatabilities - (Anonymous) on February 26th, 2015 10:32 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Size incompatabilities - (Anonymous) on February 26th, 2015 10:37 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Size incompatabilities - (Anonymous) on February 27th, 2015 02:47 am (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Size incompatabilities - (Anonymous) on February 27th, 2015 04:00 am (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Size incompatabilities - (Anonymous) on February 26th, 2015 02:02 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Size incompatabilities - (Anonymous) on February 26th, 2015 02:07 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Size incompatabilities - (Anonymous) on February 26th, 2015 02:14 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Size incompatabilities - (Anonymous) on February 26th, 2015 02:11 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Size incompatabilities - (Anonymous) on February 26th, 2015 02:40 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Size incompatabilities - (Anonymous) on February 26th, 2015 08:34 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Size incompatabilities - (Anonymous) on February 26th, 2015 09:11 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Size incompatabilities - (Anonymous) on February 26th, 2015 11:45 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Size incompatabilities - (Anonymous) on March 2nd, 2015 02:30 am (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Size incompatabilities - (Anonymous) on March 2nd, 2015 03:03 am (UTC) (Expand)
(Anonymous) on February 26th, 2015 02:51 pm (UTC)
Conflicted
I'm losing someone I care about to cancer. I should be there to support that person. However, I had a major falling out with that person's partner. Said partner did something deplorable years ago that I can't to this day forgive. I'm trying not to let hatred and pride affect my judgement, but it can be an uphill battle.
(Anonymous) on February 26th, 2015 03:00 pm (UTC)
Re: Conflicted
After this, you'll likely never have to deal with the partner again. If you're loved-one wants you there, do what you can.
Re: Conflicted - (Anonymous) on February 26th, 2015 03:12 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(Anonymous) on February 26th, 2015 05:14 pm (UTC)
The longer I ponder it, the more I think I might be happier in a committed (possibly open, possibly not) threesome than in a couple. I find myself frustrated by the extra logistical and emotional challenges this self-knowledge adds to the already complex minefield of dating for me.
(Anonymous) on February 26th, 2015 05:16 pm (UTC)
Threesome dating
Crap. I forgot to put a subject.