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20 February 2015 @ 09:04 am
Confessional 2015  
Tell me a secret! Tell me a not-secret! Whisper sweet somethings in my comment box. Express your maddest crush or deepest curiosity! Expound upon the fabulousness of your friends or lovers or would-be friends or lovers! Or people you know or want to know. Do it anonymously or with your name attached; anonymous commenting is on and IP logging is off.

You know you want to!

[Please note ground rules here.]

[Link to flat version of comments is here.]

A note on user experience: If you're starting a new thread, if you give it a subject, it'll be easier to pick out comments in response to it down the road.

ETA: IP logging is back on!
 
 
I'm feeling: curiouscurious
 
 
 
(Anonymous) on February 26th, 2015 05:31 pm (UTC)
My family is my family
I sometimes feel guilty/depressed when people talk about their friends being their family. Because I've never felt like that. My family is my family. I come from a fairly large family, and we moved away from the even bigger extended family when I was young. Then we moved around often enough that I ended up going to six different elementary schools. So really, the only people who have always remained constants in my life are my parents and my siblings.

We're also all extroverts who connect really well with people and never lack for friends. But those friendships have never translated to lifelong familial-like relationships, and I genuinely don't know how to change that. I have one friend who has remained in my life from childhood. No friends from high school or college. One friend from grad school. And the people I've become friends with as an adult seem to fade in and out of my life and I still feel/fear that no one will actually stick around.

How do I stop myself from closing myself off from getting close to people and letting people in?
(Anonymous) on February 26th, 2015 07:29 pm (UTC)
sit or stand?
After pooping, do you stay seated to wipe your ass, or do you stand and then wipe?
(Anonymous) on February 26th, 2015 07:41 pm (UTC)
Re: sit or stand?
Wait... people stand to wipe? Isn't that, like, way less efficient?
Re: sit or stand? - (Anonymous) on February 27th, 2015 07:50 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: sit or stand? - (Anonymous) on February 27th, 2015 07:57 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: sit or stand? - (Anonymous) on February 27th, 2015 08:38 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: sit or stand? - (Anonymous) on February 28th, 2015 04:31 am (UTC) (Expand)
Re: sit or stand? - (Anonymous) on February 28th, 2015 08:30 am (UTC) (Expand)
Re: sit or stand? - (Anonymous) on February 28th, 2015 06:34 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: sit or stand? - (Anonymous) on February 28th, 2015 06:56 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: sit or stand? - (Anonymous) on February 28th, 2015 11:28 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: sit or stand? - (Anonymous) on March 1st, 2015 02:16 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: sit or stand? - (Anonymous) on February 28th, 2015 03:44 am (UTC) (Expand)
Re: sit or stand? - (Anonymous) on February 26th, 2015 07:42 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: sit or stand? - (Anonymous) on February 26th, 2015 10:46 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: sit or stand? - (Anonymous) on February 27th, 2015 12:54 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: sit or stand? - (Anonymous) on February 27th, 2015 07:33 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(Anonymous) on February 26th, 2015 07:37 pm (UTC)
A threesome is officially on my bucket list.
(Anonymous) on February 27th, 2015 02:54 am (UTC)
They're so fun! I wish I knew better how to get them going.
(no subject) - (Anonymous) on February 27th, 2015 12:08 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - (Anonymous) on February 27th, 2015 08:28 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - (Anonymous) on February 27th, 2015 09:41 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - (Anonymous) on February 28th, 2015 04:33 am (UTC) (Expand)
(Anonymous) on February 26th, 2015 08:21 pm (UTC)
Therapy and my ex
Sometimes I really wish I could sue my ex to cover the bills for all the therapy I'm needing to undo the psychological damage she did.
(Anonymous) on February 27th, 2015 10:15 pm (UTC)
Re: Therapy and my ex
I can think of a lot of people I'd like to charge for nonconsensually inflicting therapy on my friends.
Re: Therapy and my ex - (Anonymous) on February 28th, 2015 01:13 am (UTC) (Expand)
(Anonymous) on February 27th, 2015 12:31 pm (UTC)
I checked for the confessional back on the 19th (or 20th before 9am), didn't see it, and promptly forgot to come back and check for it... until today. I have a lot of reading to do.
(Anonymous) on February 27th, 2015 10:16 pm (UTC)
just discovering the confessional
What's the best part you've found?
Re: just discovering the confessional - (Anonymous) on February 28th, 2015 01:31 am (UTC) (Expand)
(Anonymous) on February 27th, 2015 04:03 pm (UTC)
Crybaby
I swear I am going to scream if I hear my mom say again that it's important and good to let an infant cry a little bit. Yes, if you're busy with an older child or brushing your teeth or taking something out of the oven, let your baby cry for a moment. But crying alone just to make them cry alone? It seems cruel to me and upsets me that she did this to us.
(Anonymous) on February 27th, 2015 09:43 pm (UTC)
Re: Crybaby
I have read the opposite- that just letting a baby cry without responding is harmful. Where does your mom get the idea that it's not just good but even important?
Re: Crybaby - (Anonymous) on February 28th, 2015 12:50 am (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Crybaby - (Anonymous) on February 28th, 2015 12:55 am (UTC) (Expand)
(Anonymous) on February 27th, 2015 06:51 pm (UTC)
Leonard Nimoy, RIP
I am so broken-hearted by the passing of Leonard Nimoy today. Star Trek has always been a part of my life, and his loss hits really hard.

Live long and prosper, confessional.
(Anonymous) on February 27th, 2015 07:03 pm (UTC)
Re: Leonard Nimoy, RIP
The news hit me harder than I expected (since he's been ailing, and Star Trek is mostly not part of my identity). Something about him just always struck a chord with me.
Re: Leonard Nimoy, RIP - (Anonymous) on February 27th, 2015 07:35 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Leonard Nimoy, RIP - (Anonymous) on March 1st, 2015 02:13 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Leonard Nimoy, RIP - (Anonymous) on March 2nd, 2015 02:20 am (UTC) (Expand)
(Anonymous) on February 27th, 2015 07:53 pm (UTC)
Facing demons
Few know that last year I confronted my abuser. He's dying and I thought it would be my last chance.

It actually was pretty amazing. I mean, he threatened my life and swore at me and said it never happened, but none of that really mattered. I found out that I had strength in myself and support in my loved ones that I didn't even suspect was there. I walked out of the nursing home feeling like a million bucks.

A relative I have had an extremely difficult relationship with, who's a very manipuative person, arranged an unofficial boycott of my perpetrator's funeral on my behalf and without my knowledge. As a result my perpetrator's daughter is no longer speaking to this person. I felt the impulse to apologize, but they shrugged it off and said "It's not your fault and I knew this might happen." I feel loved in a way I thought I'd never experience - I think maybe this is how some people have been feeling about their families all along.

I kind of want someone to throw me a party, or a parade, or something. I want presents and cards and a big cake an announcement in the paper. But this isn't really the kind of thing you get merit badges for. So I'm telling you, my friends, secretly, and hoping you'll figure out a way to throw some confetti.
(Anonymous) on February 27th, 2015 08:02 pm (UTC)
Re: Facing demons
I am throwing the FUCK out of some glitter confetti for you, my friend! And I'm going to toast to you this evening, too. I'm so glad you were able to give yourself that gift, and so glad, too, that you found more love and support than you expected or knew as a result.
Re: Facing demons - (Anonymous) on February 28th, 2015 12:42 am (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Facing demons - (Anonymous) on February 28th, 2015 03:02 am (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Facing demons - (Anonymous) on February 28th, 2015 08:42 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Facing demons - (Anonymous) on February 27th, 2015 08:09 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Facing demons - (Anonymous) on February 28th, 2015 01:18 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Facing demons - (Anonymous) on February 27th, 2015 08:50 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Facing demons - (Anonymous) on February 28th, 2015 12:39 am (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Facing demons - (Anonymous) on February 28th, 2015 08:34 am (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Facing demons - (Anonymous) on February 28th, 2015 08:35 am (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Facing demons - (Anonymous) on February 28th, 2015 08:01 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Facing demons - (Anonymous) on February 28th, 2015 11:02 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Facing demons - (Anonymous) on February 28th, 2015 09:20 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(Anonymous) on February 27th, 2015 08:27 pm (UTC)
"Bottom Buffet"/"Exploratorium"?
... bringing this over from the Kink & Body Mod thread ...

Does anyone know of such a thing planned for anytime in the next few months in the greater Boston area? I've not been watching NELA's calendar closely, but haven't seen any such thing in quite a while, and the one I remember at a Flea (if I am remembering it correctly) was mostly too crowded to really try anything.

Is there interest in such a thing around here? Show of hands? Also, what would you like to try?
(Anonymous) on February 27th, 2015 10:05 pm (UTC)
Re: "Bottom Buffet"/"Exploratorium"?
MOB (A kinky group for female identified individuals, and assigned female at birth individuals) holds an Exploratorium every year at the flea.
Re: "Bottom Buffet"/"Exploratorium"? - (Anonymous) on February 28th, 2015 12:38 am (UTC) (Expand)
Re: "Bottom Buffet"/"Exploratorium"? - (Anonymous) on February 28th, 2015 06:06 am (UTC) (Expand)
Re: "Bottom Buffet"/"Exploratorium"? - (Anonymous) on February 28th, 2015 07:20 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: "Bottom Buffet"/"Exploratorium"? - (Anonymous) on February 28th, 2015 07:43 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: "Bottom Buffet"/"Exploratorium"? - (Anonymous) on February 28th, 2015 01:35 am (UTC) (Expand)
Re: "Bottom Buffet"/"Exploratorium"? - (Anonymous) on February 28th, 2015 05:37 am (UTC) (Expand)
(Anonymous) on February 27th, 2015 10:03 pm (UTC)
Hopefully the new crush won't fizzle out...
This year we discovered a new mutual crush.

Previously scheduled trips, this horrible winter, general badness at work, and a few other random life events have prevented us from doing very much about it.

I'm terrified that life circumstance is going to make this nice thing fizzle before it really gets started. I worry it is getting that way.
(Anonymous) on February 27th, 2015 11:23 pm (UTC)
It's glitter time.
I have had the hardest. Fucking. Week. and I am truly done with all the hard things. Professional, personal, financial, emotional, physical, there is literally not a domain of my life that hasn't had a major setback (usually more than one). I just want a hug. And a beer.

Since you, Internet, can't give me a hug and a beer, can you please tell me about something that has gone surprisingly RIGHT for you this week? Please glow at me about something.
(Anonymous) on February 27th, 2015 11:32 pm (UTC)
Re: It's glitter time.
I just got my first full-time paycheck after 2 years of unemployment! I can pay my bills *and* occasionally help someone or have something nice!
Re: It's glitter time. - (Anonymous) on February 27th, 2015 11:39 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: It's glitter time. - (Anonymous) on February 27th, 2015 11:39 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: It's glitter time. - (Anonymous) on February 28th, 2015 12:36 am (UTC) (Expand)
It glitters and is also gold - (Anonymous) on February 28th, 2015 12:15 am (UTC) (Expand)
Re: It glitters and is also gold - (Anonymous) on February 28th, 2015 12:32 am (UTC) (Expand)
Re: It's glitter time. - (Anonymous) on February 28th, 2015 12:36 am (UTC) (Expand)
Re: It's glitter time. - (Anonymous) on February 28th, 2015 01:27 am (UTC) (Expand)
Re: It's glitter time. - (Anonymous) on February 28th, 2015 03:17 am (UTC) (Expand)
Re: It's glitter time. - (Anonymous) on February 28th, 2015 05:36 am (UTC) (Expand)
Re: It's glitter time. - (Anonymous) on February 28th, 2015 07:35 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(Anonymous) on February 28th, 2015 02:43 am (UTC)
Whenever we visit my in-laws, my FiL does things that borderline invade my toddler-age daughter's personal space. He hugs, kisses, and tickles her without asking, and does so repeatedly despite her body language indicating that she would prefer he stop. Probably I'm the only one who knows her well enough to understand her body language.

In the culture where FiL lives (flyover country, and an older generation), this behavior is universally accepted. He does not, and I believe would never, touch her in ways that that culture would consider inappropriate.

I want to give my daughter the tools she needs to say "no" and be heard and respected. But I'm finding that I myself lack those tools enough that I have trouble modeling them for her. Besides, she's young enough that she shouldn't have to take responsibility for saying no. I'm supposed to protect her, and I'm failing in that role by not calling my FiL's attention to her body language.

I did ask my husband to have a conversation with his father, but that was one hour before my in-laws came down with the worst food poisoning of their lives, and it just didn't seem like the right time. :-/ I can repeat my request now (a couple months later), but I feel like that's a lot to ask of my husband if I'm not taking any initiative myself.
(Anonymous) on February 28th, 2015 03:38 am (UTC)
Beavers are a myth.
(Anonymous) on February 28th, 2015 04:09 am (UTC)
So are groundhogs.
(no subject) - (Anonymous) on February 28th, 2015 04:28 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - (Anonymous) on February 28th, 2015 04:35 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - (Anonymous) on February 28th, 2015 05:43 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - (Anonymous) on February 28th, 2015 10:52 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - (Anonymous) on February 28th, 2015 01:13 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - (Anonymous) on February 28th, 2015 08:33 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - (Anonymous) on March 2nd, 2015 03:03 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - (Anonymous) on March 2nd, 2015 09:30 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - (Anonymous) on February 28th, 2015 02:07 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - (Anonymous) on February 28th, 2015 11:15 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - (Anonymous) on February 28th, 2015 11:23 pm (UTC) (Expand)
YOLO. - (Anonymous) on March 1st, 2015 04:44 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - (Anonymous) on March 1st, 2015 12:30 am (UTC) (Expand)
(Anonymous) on February 28th, 2015 06:35 am (UTC)
Mmmmm
I just had a wonderful evening with a wonderful friend full of good discussion, good food, snuggles and infectious laughter.

I feel really lovely inside, at the moment.

*sprinkles hearts and stars and glitter on you all*
(Anonymous) on February 28th, 2015 07:16 am (UTC)
Oroborous of love
Feeling socially isolated from the group and feeling less attracted to you seem to be feeding on one another, head eating tail. The more I feel isolated from the group, the less attracted I am to you. The less attracted I am to you, the more I feel isolated from the group.