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20 February 2015 @ 09:04 am
Confessional 2015  
Tell me a secret! Tell me a not-secret! Whisper sweet somethings in my comment box. Express your maddest crush or deepest curiosity! Expound upon the fabulousness of your friends or lovers or would-be friends or lovers! Or people you know or want to know. Do it anonymously or with your name attached; anonymous commenting is on and IP logging is off.

You know you want to!

[Please note ground rules here.]

[Link to flat version of comments is here.]

A note on user experience: If you're starting a new thread, if you give it a subject, it'll be easier to pick out comments in response to it down the road.

ETA: IP logging is back on!
 
 
I'm feeling: curiouscurious
 
 
 
(Anonymous) on February 24th, 2015 04:29 am (UTC)
Re: okcupid exclusions and bonuses
OP - Your assumption, that I am a woman who dates men is correct, but the problem is the reason you cite, that men dating younger women is the norm is why I rule those men out. If a 33 year dude is interested in girls between the ages of 18-34, it's a reasonably safe assumption that he is shallow and/or who has never thought seriously about gender norms in relationships, and I do not want to date that guy. It's possible that excluding people based on this means I'll miss out on that one feminist guy who has thought seriously about the role of societal norms in gendered relationship expectations and still has those age preferences (and you could be that guy), but it absolutely guarantees that I will avoid wasting my time talking to guys who are going to piss me off. And that's what filters are for.
(Anonymous) on February 24th, 2015 05:23 pm (UTC)
Re: okcupid exclusions and bonuses
yup yup yup agree totally. i think of this as a red flag because a) it implies that they like unexamined gendered age-based power dynamics in their relationships and b) it implies that they think of women as baby factories with expiration dates, and that they assign value to women based on assumptions about their fertility. blargh