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20 February 2015 @ 09:04 am
Confessional 2015  
Tell me a secret! Tell me a not-secret! Whisper sweet somethings in my comment box. Express your maddest crush or deepest curiosity! Expound upon the fabulousness of your friends or lovers or would-be friends or lovers! Or people you know or want to know. Do it anonymously or with your name attached; anonymous commenting is on and IP logging is off.

You know you want to!

[Please note ground rules here.]

[Link to flat version of comments is here.]

A note on user experience: If you're starting a new thread, if you give it a subject, it'll be easier to pick out comments in response to it down the road.

ETA: IP logging is back on!
 
 
I'm feeling: curiouscurious
 
 
 
(Anonymous) on February 24th, 2015 03:53 pm (UTC)
I considered comment non-anonymously, since this is something people know about me, but I've never actually participated in these threads, and commenting anonymously seems to be the suggested Done Thing in the guidelines, so.

Anyway, I'm not the g/f of the OP, which was the other reason I was going to login to post. :-)

I am a recovering vegetarian and I CANNOT deal with bones in my meat. Generally, that means I don't order meat with bones. On special occasions, my husband will kindly help me with bone-in foods, though he's sworn he'll never tackle another cornish hen for me (too much work).

I agree with the first comment that disdain/scorn has the potential to be a very bad path (check out the 7 Principles of Making Marriage Work for more background on that idea).

But I also agree with the other comment suggesting that this is her/MY problem and I manage this problem myself by avoiding bones whenever possible, or at least ASKING my partner if they're OK to help me with this meal, and allowing them to say no. You don't mention that this expectation of you is bothering you, and perhaps she is requesting each time for your assistance and giving you a chance to say no... but it kind of sounds like this is a blanket expectation. That would be a big deal to me.

Finally, the Center for Anxiety and Related Disorders in Boston http://www.bu.edu/card/ does treatment for phobias that is short-term and they do payment on a sliding scale. This hasn't been enough of a problem for me that I've needed to go to CARD for this, but I also manage it independently pretty well. If I had to give up eating meat-with-bones for the rest of my life, I could very easily accomplish that. That said, suggesting that your g/f needs help with this also has the potential to be insulting, so that may not be the best option. But I wanted to at least point out that there are places that offer Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for phobias, and that is an option. I knew someone with a blood phobia who wanted to go to med school; she never could've done it without CARD's help.

Good luck figuring it out.