January 4th, 2005


a little twitchy

So, I'm expecting a job offer from this organization, and even though I don't have it, yet, I'm in the panicked stage of, "Oh, my god, is this really what I want to do?" because if I DO get an offer, and take it, it will mean moving to Portland, ME. When I was thinking about it theoretically, this didn't seem like a problem; I like Portland, it's not terribly far from Boston, and I'll get to move in with nifty people. Of course, now that it's looking a little more likely, I'm also focussing on the cons. So I think it's time to get all this down on "paper" for real evaluation time.


The job sounds excellent: it's interesting and challenging, with a good mix of different tasks, and clear opportunities for growth in a variety of areas.

The organization is neat, and I'd feel good about working for them.

Portland is a fabulous town.

razil and blivious are nifty and would be fun to live with.

Portland is only 2 hours away, so visiting back and forth shouldn't be too difficult.


Portland is smaller than Boston. I hadn't realized that I was quite so attached to the idea of living in a city, but now that I'm thinking about it, I'm worrying about things like, "How will I meet my type of people if I'm not in the city?"

Also, I'm so shy and introverted, it can be hard for me to make new friends, so moving somewhere new requires some real emotional energy.

I may need to buy a car.

I will have to move out of my current extremely fabulous home, which is causing me more pain, even on the theoretical level, than I anticipated.

I will miss all of my friends. Even though Portland is only 2 hours from Boston, I anticipate that moving away will add a big hurdle to many of my friendships, and I'll miss the impromptu swinging-by or last minute planning that comes of being local.

It means packing and moving, which we all know I hate doing.

(no subject)

Tomorrow, at the butt crack of dawn, I'm flying to Mexico (if all goes well) or LA (if only some goes well) or nowhere (if nothing goes well). Earlier today, I thought I might cancel this trip, but now that I have a job, somehow it feels like it's all come together. And it'll be fun!

So, in the course of today, I've gone from angsting about moving to Portland to angsting about whether the local job is a good idea to being settled on the local job. I've also gone from planning to go to Mexico to planning not to go to Mexico to planning again to go to Mexico.

Now, I'm feeling a little dizzy.

In other wild turnabout news, I've decided I want kids. Twins. Or maybe triplets.

Er, wait, no, that's not right. It's all very confusing.

I fed Aileen hot chocolate and she called me names for never having given it to her before this. It's a good thing I'm going to Mexico so I can get more :>