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ruthless compassion
03 May 2006 @ 10:48 am
When I'm feeling glum or otherwise out of sorts, if I can drag myself out of the muck long enough to think rationally, I know some good ways to help myself out of it. One is getting it out "on paper" so I don't have to keep circling around the things that are bothering me so as to keep track of them. A recently rediscovered trick, and an effective one, was DOING stuff.

I know that one of the features of depression (I'm not, by the way, depressed, in any global sense, but being glum is a little pocket of depression, right?) is that it's hard to motivate to do anything. I also know that when I don't do anything, I feel useless and stupid and thus, more depressed. So a trick, for me, if I'm feeling down, is to do something very visible and clear, and that I'll be able to point to as a thing I did that was productive and useful. This is excellent, and has worked well for me, as long as I can make myself get started, which requires either a depression shallow enough that I can motivate myself or one deep enough that I can't help but do something.

Yesterday, unfortunately, was neither of these, but I did manage to convince myself to head out to the Diesel on the theory that getting out of the house would be good, and if there were too many annoying people there, I could always leave. Once out of the house, I told myself, I could even treat myself to sushi, if I was so inclined. Good enough.

This turned out excellently. In an unusual fit of extroversion, seeing people perked me up almost immediately, especially when I got to have a good conversation with desiringsubject before she went off on a date. Then, I ended up having another fun conversation with imlad, which led to dinner with him and macthud, for which we walked through the misty rain to Blue Fin, where I got to indulge not only my desire for sushi, but specifically for the fresh wasabi roll, which, as we all know, I love dearly. Mad props, once again, to miss_chance for introducing them to me.

Today, life is looking up, though I would be happier with sun. On the other hand, I have a silly hat (see previous post) and it's hump day, and I have a date with a cute girl tonight, so I can't really complain at all.