It turns out that durian doesn't smell nearly as bad as I expected, nor was the flavor as extremely good/bad as I'd heard. It may have been the variety I got, since, of course, that makes a big difference in apples, mangoes, tomatoes... it would only make sense that it would matter for durians, as well!
Anyway, the texture was kind of a cross between smooshed up banana and stringy mango, though more custardy than mango, and not at all juicy. The flavor was weirdly sweet and savory both, with, as dilletante
pointed out, a distinct flavor of roasted garlic. It is not likely to become my favorite food, but I would not go hungry if durian were my only food option. My least favorite part, it turns out, was the aftertaste, which was distinctly ripe
On the scale from one to uni, this gets about a six.
[Edit: I need to calibrate the scale: uni is not
my favorite :) ]