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ruthless compassion
Today is Sunday, and the last of my week of giving thanks, and I find there are another week's worth of things on the tip of my fingers, waiting to be written. A lot of them involve specific people, though, so I think I'll just endeavor to tell them so in coming weeks and months.

This has been, and continues to be, a year of choice for me. I'm thankful that on most opportunities, I'm able to choose the crazy pollyanna outlook on the things that happen to me. I've never really been one to subscribe to the "If it doesn't kill you, it makes you stronger," outlook, because that just seems like a failure of imagination, but I do like the "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade" approach. Because, let's face it: sometimes life gives you lemons, and there's really not much you can do about that. And, worse still, sometimes you go out and fucking buy lemons. I always wonder what I was thinking when I do that. "Wait? I did this to myself? Well, crap." But it's a good thing I like lemonade, and, in the same way, it's a good thing when I can take what life throws at me and make the best of it.

It was a big revelation to me when I realized that my choices aren't a one-time deal, but, rather an ongoing process of always pulling in the direction I want things to go. It's not enough to pick an option and wait to see how it turns out if I can, instead, pick an option, or take what's given to me, and then make the best of it, because so often, it's what I do after the fact that determines how it works out.

I'm thankful that I'm able to take that perspective, and that it's a self-reinforcing lesson. I'm thankful for the chance to the chance to make things right, even when it's not always obvious what "right" might be at the start.
 
 
I'm feeling: thankfulthankful