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ruthless compassion
15 October 2012 @ 02:37 pm
This is the first day I've felt like myself for a couple of weeks, and it's really nice.

Two weeks ago, my uncle died, and I've been laid pretty low by sadness about that. I'm still sad today, but I feel more functional and like I'm integrating the sadness into my emotional landscape more than I'd been able to before. So, that's good.

His memorial service was on Saturday, and it was really wonderful. I loved hearing stories about him -- funny ones, loving ones, wistful ones. It was so neat to hear a bit about the inside of his other relationships. It made me think a lot about how we know people as we know them, but we often don't get insight into the different people they are with different people.

I cried a lot, and it was so helpful to be surrounded by people who are similarly sad about his death. Cousin Sarah had lots of old pictures all over the place, which inspired people to tell a lot of great stories. So many people loved him and will miss him.

It was also really good to hear about times in his life before he had Parkinson's. He lived with it for 20 years, so pretty much the whole time I knew him, it was in play, and it was always a big point of discussion and concern in the family, of course, so certainly it was a huge point in my experience of him.

I'm still sad, of course, but it feels good and right to be sad about losing someone I loved and miss.
 
 
I'm feeling: peacefulpeaceful