ruthless compassion (aroraborealis) wrote,
ruthless compassion

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missing you... or not

One of the funny things about me and travel is that I almost never miss people when I travel. Sure, there are sometimes people who I wish I could have with me, or people who I look forward to seeing when I next have a chance, but missing someone is something I do almost exclusively when the person in question is the one traveling. For me, the missing has to be happening in the place where I'm used to the person being present.

That is, when I'm home and someone I'm used to seeing often is away, or very busy, so I don't get to see them for long periods of time, I miss them. But when I'm traveling, I'm not used to X person being in Y place, and therefore, there's not an X shaped hole where I am.

I think I missed my parents when I went to college, and I know I missed aspects of being home when I went to Guate, but overall, and especially during short trips, missing just doesn't come in for me, unless I'm traveling somewhere that I'm used to seeing a certain person. If I were in CA, for example, and kcatalyst and trom weren't around, that would, no doubt, be weird for me; and when I went back to Guate, it was odd to be in Xela but have lots of my friends not be there, and I missed having them around, but if I'm not expecting a person to be in that context, then it doesn't occur to me, emotionally, to miss them when my expectations are met.

This leads to things like, when I was in Guatemala, friends telling me they missed me, and my most equivalent response being, "I'm looking forward to seeing you!" Which was completely honest, and heartfelt, but I suspect it fell flat for the missers, since, really, the feeling of missing someone is much more present and urgent than simply looking forward to seeing them.

I think about this a lot when I'm doing more travel, which I have been recently, leading me to not seeing lots of you as much or as recently as I might like. I'm looking forward to seeing you.
Tags: insight, travel

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