I knew that nerves and fear would be part of the process of making plans for this trip, and, in fact, that's part of the point. But knowing that abstractly and actually working through it are two very different things.
Today, I took the first step towards actively getting over the fear hurdle by deciding on three language programs to contact, and contacting them, for more information. This involved narrowing down the options (which are MANY!) and thinking more concretely about a) dates and b) location.
It feels good to be making progress, even if it IS difficult. *phew*