ruthless compassion (aroraborealis) wrote,
ruthless compassion

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Having decided, a few weeks ago, that Guatemala would be the place, I've spent the last month or so saying to myself, "Oh, I'll gather more information and decide on programs soon. Maybe I'll take some time tomorrow..." And I've woken up a few nights with nail-biting nerves thinking to myself, "Am I insane? Am I really going to go away from my friends and loves and the places I know and just dump myself in a foreign country where I hardly speak the language and don't know anyone?"

I knew that nerves and fear would be part of the process of making plans for this trip, and, in fact, that's part of the point. But knowing that abstractly and actually working through it are two very different things.

Today, I took the first step towards actively getting over the fear hurdle by deciding on three language programs to contact, and contacting them, for more information. This involved narrowing down the options (which are MANY!) and thinking more concretely about a) dates and b) location.

It feels good to be making progress, even if it IS difficult. *phew*

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