It's been about a year since I thought to myself, "Hm, maybe... maybe I should give this crazy running thing that people seem to enjoy a try." And I went to moominmolly and said, "I think this is crazy, but I'm thinking about trying running. What should I do?" And she told me I should get a good pair of shoes and check out the Couch to 5K running plan, and I did, and it was great.
I still often think of going out for a run as a chore, and so it can be hard for me to motivate to do it, but when I do, I'm always glad I did. Running is an opportunity to be in my body in a different way from any other, and it's also a way to be in the world in a different way. Everything looks a little fuzzier when I'm running, and although I'm glad it's not always like that, it's a nice way to have a vacation from the ordinary. Colors are more colory, light is more lighty. And today was so perfect for that, because the stretch of the bike path behind my house is carpeted with bright yellow leaves, so it was like running through a tunnel of bright gold light with almost no shadows.
I'm thankful for what running represents to me in terms of claiming an activity that I always eschewed and avoided, and in the fact that it makes me reconsider my conception of myself, which still balks at including the descriptor of "runner" in the list of things I am. And, yet, I run, entirely voluntarily, even when I have no place to run to nor particular reason I'm doing it. Is this what a zen state is like? You just do it for it itself and that's all?
Well, in any case, I'm thankful for it, because it's fucking awesome. And also fucking weird. What kind of nut runs for fun, anyway?
My kind of nut, apparently.