ruthless compassion (aroraborealis) wrote,
ruthless compassion

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a long walk

I rang in the new year with some (but not all, darn those many parties!) of my favorite people, doing some (but not all, because, really, it was midnight! we were short on time) of my favorite things. I stayed up too late and then got up too early the next morning to cook and cook before people came over to eat and socialize. So, I spent my first wee hours and then the first day of the year doing things I love, with people I love. That, in itself, is a good thing.

Today, though, I didn't have anything planned, and everyone's back to work, and I worried that I'd have some holiday "drop". Plus, I've been running around a lot lately, and when I'm at home, it's easy to find distractions in the TV, computer, books... So, instead, I decided I'd go for a long walk. After a serendipitous trip to the library (I'd requested several books and not picked them up by monday, the expiration date on my request, but they were still there! yay!), I put on my walking shoes and hopped on the bike path to walk until I felt a little more than halfway done. Then I turned around and walked back.

It took me four hours, and I covered 12 miles. Now, I'm tired, in that excellent way of being tired with a good reason. Even better, though, I'm feeling nicely balanced, in that excellent way of balancing some of the things I want and need in my life: community and solitary time, activities at home and out in the world, time in my head and time with my head turned off.

I feel like I have a big year ahead of me, and I'm trying not to fret about it. One step at a time, after all. The guideposts the world gave me while I walked were: a pacifier hanging from a narrow twig, a traffic cone lodged in the crook of a tree, and a squirrel huddled motionless on a branch. Later, I followed the scatter of two decks of playing cards in the snow for about a mile. I figure at the end of the year, I'll have made sense of them all.
Tags: introspection

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