ruthless compassion (aroraborealis) wrote,
ruthless compassion

  • Mood:

holding it together

This week is vastly better than the past month has been. I think a lot of it has to do with changing my coping methods as of a couple of weekends ago, and starting to talk to folks more about what's hard these days, even if there's not much to be done about it right now on pretty much any front. (Though I did send my resume last week to an organization I would be ecstatic to work for, I can't actually do much about job, where I'm living, etc, until I finish school.) It's exciting to have so much on the horizon but exhausting to hold space open for it; it's like balancing on a precipice: there's a lot of potential energy in the arrangement, but I'm not ready to jump off, just yet.

It's weird, because I don't feel like, for the most part, there's much to talk about, and, yet, it's clear, from starting last week to talk about it that doing so is really good -- possibly essential -- for my mental state. So: Yes, life is hard right now, but in that way that I think will bear juicy and delicious fruit. Eventually.

Another thing improving this week is the Monday holiday. Instead of Monday kicking my ass, it was a mellow, low key day that concluded with excellent company, wine, and a haircut. Monday's classes meet on Thursday instead, but one of the three is cancelled, so even that is more humane than usual. As with everything else that's hard about this term, there's nothing for me to do about the fact that Mondays are brutal, but this week sure is a welcome reprieve.
Tags: life, school

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