ruthless compassion (aroraborealis) wrote,
ruthless compassion

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You don't know what you've got

One of life's most mixed blessings, I think, is how it sneaks the good stuff into daily routine and habit without you fully realizing it's happening. It can be easy to point to some vague starting point, but somewhere between meeting someone and realizing how important they are to you, all the foundational magic of friendship and love happens without much conscious awareness.

So, though I knew I'd miss contessagrrl when she moved to SF, I'm taken by surprise by how much grief I feel about her absence. It's funny, actually, because I think she was a bigger part of my life in the last 6-8 months than she would have been otherwise because of her upcoming plans to move -- it meant we spent more time together, knowing it was short. In the end, it feels more like the loss of a partner* -- and irreplaceable one -- than that of a friend.

I know life goes on and there are so many awesome people around here and in my life, and there's plenty of goodness and fun and joy to have with you all, and that's great. But if I'm quiet or withdrawn or grouchy or mopey for the next couple of months, this is probably why.

*In fact, our friendship has kind of expanded how I think of the role of partner in a really good way. I'll probably get around to posting about that someday.
Tags: awesome friends, change, mood

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