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31 December 2009 @ 10:51 am
 
What, if anything, did you leave unsaid this year?

(Inspired by this.)
 
 
 
David Policardpolicar on December 31st, 2009 04:02 pm (UTC)
Oh, a great many things, I imagine.
I can't recall any at the moment, but I got a lot better this year at leaving things unsaid.
(This was, admittedly, rather in the spirit of making a virtue out of necessity for the first few months.)
I can't say my life, or anyone else's, was significantly affected by the absence.
unintentional baitredheadedmuse on December 31st, 2009 04:32 pm (UTC)
No.

This is such a common word that I'm sure it escaped my lips thousands of times, but there were many important 2009 moments where I didn't say it. My life is a lot different now than it was a year ago, in mostly good ways, because I said 'yes', or kept my mouth shut, instead of hitting the brakes.
(Anonymous) on December 31st, 2009 05:20 pm (UTC)
"I'm done, sorry."
maebethmaebeth on December 31st, 2009 05:29 pm (UTC)
I find that I can't say anything that I left unsaid. It sounds too much like I'm regretting things, which, either I AM and I don't want the person to whom I didn't say it to KNOW it, OR I'm NOT and I don't want the person to whom I didn't say it to THINK it.

Is that well said?
harimad on December 31st, 2009 07:19 pm (UTC)
Plenty. As a result my daily life is much happier now.

Bringing up little bits of dissatisfaction wrought a great deal of constant low level antagonism which made me very unhappy. It was day in, day out and and made me doubt the wisdom of my choices. Not bringing up things which matter little seems to have generated an equal response. The result is far less criticism in my life and happier days.

I also reacted less often to unhappiness/grouchiness that wasn't really about me, even if it was expressed in my direction. This hasn't generated the same reciprocal response but I'm still happier for it.

Or did you mean things we left unsaid but wish we had said?
existential hot showerveek on December 31st, 2009 08:20 pm (UTC)
There are certainly conversations I haven't had with people, things I never did figure out how to say. Perhaps I will in the future!. This is hardly the venue for them, though. They're all of a(n inter)personal nature.
Beahbeah on December 31st, 2009 10:03 pm (UTC)
A lot. I'm actually starting to feel rather proud of the development of my edit function.
Luminous mind, bright devil: kittens: cuddly love warmprosicated on December 31st, 2009 10:12 pm (UTC)
I've spent the last year learning how to stand up for what I want, up to -- and even including! -- saying no and asking for things that feel scary more and with more grace.
What I wish I had said, in tandem with the increasing self-realization, was sufficient thanks and appreciation for everyone who took me at my word, or engaged with the effort I was making.
Depression has made me madly aware of where my crazies are, what kinds of havoc they wreak, and what kinds of care and attention I often desire, even when those kinds are not what I want to want (or, even sometimes say I want), and it has also illuminated how thoughtful, considerate, nuanced, intelligent, generous, creative, loving, beautiful, and capable the people with whom I interact are.
I wish I had learned to say that with the frequent, piercing, and forceful gratefulness with which I am so often struck.

As much as I've learned to bite back how much I hate myself lately, I haven't learned to spit out how much I love others, and that's a damn shame. Maybe I do have a resolution for the New Year...
jordanwillow: i can't stand it!jordanwillow on December 31st, 2009 11:45 pm (UTC)
"You probably would be surprised to hear this, but as it happens, you are a thoughtless and inconsiderate asshole, in addition to which, you don't have any understanding of the topic you're blowing hot air about. Luckily for me, the opinion of ignorant assholes is irrelevant."

:)

(i'm guessing it's obvious why i left it unsaid, over and over again.)

(oh, and just to be clear: i'm not saying it to you!)
born from jets!!!catness on January 1st, 2010 12:52 am (UTC)
I've left a lot unsaid this year. I think it does need to be said, but I am not sure I'm the person who needs to say it to those who need to hear it.

Of course, this means they're unlikely to hear it at all, but it's Not My Fucking Job to teach and it annoys the pig.

In 2010, I will not be spending any personal time with people who need to be taught.
m.entrope on January 1st, 2010 04:58 am (UTC)
I've been agonizing over this all day. I guess the question is whether discretion is the better part of valor.
bison need in: consciencebbbsg on January 1st, 2010 03:09 pm (UTC)
too much and not enough.
naiadnaiad on January 1st, 2010 06:15 pm (UTC)
"I told you so."

It slipped out once or twice, but for the most part I managed to hold my tongue.
Boring Nerd: beginningssignsoflife on January 3rd, 2010 02:48 pm (UTC)
"I quit".