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16 February 2011 @ 03:31 pm
HSV-1 disclosure  

Do you have HSV-1, that you're aware of?

Yes
26(26.3%)
No
73(73.7%)

If you have HSV-1, do you make a practice of informing people of that before kissing them?

Yes
3(10.7%)
No
25(89.3%)

If you have HSV-1, do you make a practice of informing people of that before engaging in other shared mouth activities with them? (sharing beverages, etc)

Yes
2(7.1%)
No
26(92.9%)

If you don't have HSV-1, do you ask people if they do before kissing them?

Yes
3(4.0%)
No
72(96.0%)

If you don't have HSV-1, do you ask people of they do before engaging in other shared mouth activities with them?

Yes
12(16.7%)
No
60(83.3%)

If you have HSV-1: How big a deal do you think it is? (1 = not at all; 10 = extremely)

Mean: 3.37 Median: 3 Std. Dev 1.91
1
4(14.8%)
2
8(29.6%)
3
5(18.5%)
4
1(3.7%)
5
4(14.8%)
6
4(14.8%)
7
0(0.0%)
8
1(3.7%)
9
0(0.0%)
10
0(0.0%)

If you don't have HSV-1: How big a deal do you think it is? (1 = not at all; 10 = extremely)

Mean: 4.40 Median: 3 Std. Dev 2.33
1
2(2.8%)
2
16(22.2%)
3
19(26.4%)
4
4(5.6%)
5
7(9.7%)
6
6(8.3%)
7
12(16.7%)
8
1(1.4%)
9
3(4.2%)
10
2(2.8%)
Tags:
 
 
I'm feeling: curiouscurious
 
 
 
Spike: Basic - Low priorityspike on February 16th, 2011 08:38 pm (UTC)
Now for my traditional nit-pick the questions comments:

Poll asking about HSV-1 oral or genital?
What about HSV-2 oral?
Does it matter (to anyone) whether someone is having an outbreak? (substantially more contagious)
(Deleted comment)
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(no subject) - aroraborealis on February 16th, 2011 09:16 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - catness on February 16th, 2011 08:57 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - randysmith on February 16th, 2011 08:52 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - randysmith on February 16th, 2011 08:53 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - lightcastle on February 16th, 2011 08:55 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - aroraborealis on February 16th, 2011 08:57 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - primal_pastry on February 16th, 2011 09:13 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Rowan: Wintermzrowan on February 16th, 2011 08:40 pm (UTC)
Wait, what do you mean by "other shared mouth activities"? I was assuming you meant "further fluid contact", but maybe you meant "sharing a fork"?
Rowan: Kitty reading LJmzrowan on February 16th, 2011 08:50 pm (UTC)
Now I see that you answered that in the "if you have HSV-1" version of the question!
(no subject) - aroraborealis on February 16th, 2011 08:58 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - fennel on February 17th, 2011 02:19 pm (UTC) (Expand)
funner'n a sack a weaselsmoominmolly on February 16th, 2011 08:41 pm (UTC)
I basically figure I'm the only person I know who is negative for both HSV-1 and HSV-2. *shrug*
blkblk on February 16th, 2011 08:45 pm (UTC)
Ooh, ooh, I am too! *squeezes up on bench* :)
(no subject) - kcatalyst on February 16th, 2011 08:45 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - moominmolly on February 17th, 2011 12:19 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - kcatalyst on February 17th, 2011 02:38 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - sandhawke on February 17th, 2011 06:06 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - moominmolly on February 17th, 2011 01:41 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - coraline on February 17th, 2011 03:00 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - signsoflife on February 16th, 2011 08:48 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - lyonesse on February 16th, 2011 08:52 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - lightcastle on February 16th, 2011 08:56 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - kcatalyst on February 16th, 2011 09:32 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - lightcastle on February 16th, 2011 10:08 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - lyonesse on February 16th, 2011 10:23 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - signsoflife on February 16th, 2011 08:53 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - wanderyng1 on February 16th, 2011 09:15 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - redheadedmuse on February 16th, 2011 09:40 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - catya on February 16th, 2011 09:44 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - pumpkin_pi on February 17th, 2011 01:28 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - keyne on February 17th, 2011 08:47 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - perspicuity on February 17th, 2011 02:56 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(Deleted comment)
(Deleted comment)
David Policardpolicar on February 16th, 2011 08:48 pm (UTC)
it's hard for me to tell who I'm going to be kissing before they're kissing me.

That's kind of awesome.

At least, the interpretation of it in my head is kind of awesome. Thinking about it some more, it can also be kind of horrible.

I'm hoping you meant it in the awesome way.
(Deleted comment)
(no subject) - dpolicar on February 16th, 2011 10:03 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - sandhawke on February 17th, 2011 06:12 am (UTC) (Expand)
(Deleted comment)
(no subject) - perspicuity on February 17th, 2011 02:51 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - catling on February 19th, 2011 01:04 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Renata Piperlyonesse on February 16th, 2011 08:50 pm (UTC)
i'm going to assume that when you say "hsv-1" you mean "oral hsv". there are actually at least seven identified viral subtypes (melebeth was going to write something about this at some point?) with various degrees of cross-site infections and/or shared immunities.

i filled out the above in terms of "when i don't think i'm prodromal and have no sores", which is most of the time. when i feel the slightest tingle i freak out and get abreva and valtrex and don't want to be around anyone. it used to be even more of a big deal; i've actually mellowed about it rather over the years.
LClightcastle on February 16th, 2011 08:57 pm (UTC)
I asked melebeth to weigh in earlier when I saw the thread spiraling. :)
(no subject) - lyonesse on February 16th, 2011 10:24 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Carolynentrochan on February 16th, 2011 08:52 pm (UTC)
I disclose before oral sex.

If I've had a recent outbreak or feel one coming on, I disclose before kissing.
Misanthropic extrovertdbang on February 17th, 2011 06:34 pm (UTC)
I'm curious why you disclose always before oral sex, but only sometimes before kissing, when HSV-1 is more easily transmitted to mouths than to genitalia?
(no subject) - sandhawke on February 17th, 2011 06:57 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - dbang on February 17th, 2011 07:18 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - entrochan on February 17th, 2011 08:53 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - dbang on February 17th, 2011 09:00 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - entrochan on February 17th, 2011 09:30 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - dbang on February 17th, 2011 10:08 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - entrochan on February 17th, 2011 11:51 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - entrochan on February 17th, 2011 09:53 pm (UTC) (Expand)
wild, predictable abandoncontessagrrl on February 16th, 2011 09:07 pm (UTC)
I have HSV-1 and have since I was 8 years old.

I don't go out of my way to inform anyone of this unless I am having, or about to have, an outbreak (and yes, I can feel when one is coming on), although am open about it generally. In that case, I say something like "I have a cold sore coming on, let's not share that drink", or to a lover, "I have a cold sore coming on, proceed at your own risk", and feel perfectly okay with being told s/he doesn't want to kiss/fuck/suck/share food things with me until it's passed.

I think my relaxed nature about HSV-1 comes from having had it for SO long, years before I understood that it was an STI, and rather just this slightly inconvenient thing I picked up from my sister, who picked it up from a water fountain at school (or so the story goes).
DancingWolfGrrldancingwolfgrrl on February 16th, 2011 09:21 pm (UTC)
I talk about it in the context of safer sex, where I give people the information that I have (I sometimes test positive and sometimes don't; I don't have any information on what a test below the threshold but above zero means about transmission; I haven't had a cold sore in at least a decade) and let them figure it out. With other people, my policy is to use latex for oral during an outbreak or if they can feel one coming on; otherwise, I don't worry about it, including non-worrying on testing status for HSV.

The only reason I said it's a deal at all is that I hear genital outbreaks can really suck, and I understand the desire to avoid that kind of sucking.
catcatya on February 16th, 2011 09:42 pm (UTC)
fwiw, given that i know that most people have hsv1, what i watch out for is people who are having outbreaks. I have managed to not get it so far, might as well keep on it.

of course the person i have the most trouble with this on is my kid, but i consider it good training for him not to share drinks with anyone when he has a cold sore, etc.
Purple Vengeance Versiondr_memory on February 16th, 2011 10:14 pm (UTC)
Pretty much all the questions need a "...if I'm having an outbreak or think that one is about to start" option. If my lips are getting that (goddamn) tingle, or if I've got a full-blown cold sore raging, I'll tell people. (Not that it's hard to miss in the latter case.)
HighwayHawkhighwayhawk on February 16th, 2011 11:37 pm (UTC)
Wow. This is a hot button topic for me. Let me share what I know and feel the best way I can.

The fact that many doctors don't like to test for HSV because it is so common gets my hackles up. If more people knew their status, less people would be concerned about it. Seems like an easy way to lessen the stigma on those few people who do get symptoms, and therefore know their status.

When someone who doesn't know their own status gets all uppity about disclosure requirements for other people who do have HSV-1 or HSV-2 I get snarky.

I do NOT like how this issue makes people who have HSV-1 or HSV-2 feel. It pisses me off.

One of the ways I've delt with this is having a rule at some of my parties that states "If you want to know a partner's STI status, you need to ask them." I'd love feedback on this.

I know my status for HSV-1 and HSV-2 based upon HerpesSelect tests. Want to mash genitals with me? We will be discussing both of our testings results.


sabriel_sabriel_ on February 17th, 2011 12:50 am (UTC)
my $0.02
I said it in the confessional, and I'll say it again:

I encourage testing for HSV1+HSV2, IGM(new infection) IGG(old infection)

I am a midwife, not a doctor.
I also frame any positive results in a way that minimizes stigma and with words that give hope, not judgement. I make a point of discussing healthy sexuality, and the fact that although this adds a conversation (that should have been a part of their conversations with their partners, anyway) that they will still be able to enjoy their partners and enjoy sex in light of the results.
We discuss how to approach outbreaks, and how to navigate difficult conversations, social stigma, and the prevalence of HSV in society.
ALWAYS in a respectful, open manner that tries to mitigate the despair (and shame) that I often see reflected on their faces when I share positive results.
And ALWAYS with words that let them know that they can, and hopefully WILL enjoy a healthy sex life in the future.
thanks for listening.
Re: my $0.02 - highwayhawk on February 17th, 2011 01:02 am (UTC) (Expand)
Re: my $0.02 - _sabriel_ on February 17th, 2011 05:07 am (UTC) (Expand)
Re: my $0.02 - perspicuity on February 17th, 2011 03:40 am (UTC) (Expand)
Re: my $0.02 - _sabriel_ on February 17th, 2011 05:48 am (UTC) (Expand)
Re: my $0.02 - _sabriel_ on February 17th, 2011 05:51 am (UTC) (Expand)
Re: my $0.02 - perspicuity on February 17th, 2011 03:03 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Sandrosandhawke on February 17th, 2011 06:33 am (UTC)
Why so few HSV-1 positive people?
Any theories about the difference between the 24% HSV-1+ above and the 50-90% I hear quoted by medical professionals for adult Americans?

Is it that people don't get tested? Or is this population atypical? (ha ha ha.) Or ... what?

I'd be interested in seeing the results of a poll to draw that out.

What is your HSV-1 status:

[ ] positive, according to a blood test or swab of an active lesion

[ ] positive, I assume, because I get cold sores (but I haven't had a medical test to confirm it's HSV-1 instead of HSV-2)

[ ] negative, according to a blood test in the past five years

[ ] unknown/other
Sandrosandhawke on February 17th, 2011 06:36 am (UTC)
Re: Why so few HSV-1 positive people?
(Don't try to reply with data here, there wont be enough results to matter. Maybe aroraborealis will do a followup real poll, at some point.)
Re: Why so few HSV-1 positive people? - totient on February 17th, 2011 01:50 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Why so few HSV-1 positive people? - sandhawke on February 17th, 2011 02:56 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Why so few HSV-1 positive people? - 42itous on February 26th, 2011 03:55 am (UTC) (Expand)
Misanthropic extrovertdbang on February 17th, 2011 06:25 pm (UTC)
Fascinating.

Seems that very few people with oral HSV-1 give much thought to disclosing, and few people without it care.

If you put up the same poll with genital HSV-2, I bet you'd see dramatically different results.

I wonder why?


Sandrosandhawke on February 17th, 2011 07:02 pm (UTC)
Stigma?

People are stupid (irrational)?

Yeah, from what I've heard, there's not much rational basis for such a difference.
(no subject) - dbang on February 17th, 2011 09:02 pm (UTC) (Expand)
a fountain of blood in the shape of a girlcatling on February 19th, 2011 12:58 pm (UTC)
As posted in the confessional, I found out I have HSV1 a year and change ago. When I first found out, I disclosed to everyone, posted about in my livejournal, made sure to tell everyone I'd kissed recently, etc. The general response was, "Yeah, so what?" One or two people thanked me for telling them and assured me it wasn't a big deal, most people were like "why are you even telling me this?" So, for a year or so I stopped disclosing, and due to the vagaries of my schedule, I mostly just dated the partner in question and didn't smooch anyone else.

Recently, starting to get out there again, I revisited this in myself, and seeing a friends post about their struggles with HSV2 and how betrayed they felt that the person who gave it to them didn't disclose, I started to feel funny about it, and guilty, and yeah, I know HSV2 is not HSV1, but still.

So, now, I disclose. Because it seems like The Right Thing to Do(tm). From the other responses here, and elsewhere, it's clear that there are strongly divergent opinions on this. In my case, I'm still figuring out what an outbreak feels like. I think it's the tiny little sore spots I get at the corner of my lips that I always thought were just chapped lips. But since I do not get obvious cold sores, I'm not entirely sure when I can transmit, so it feels unethical to not disclose before kissing someone, and I most assuredly would disclose before giving oral sex. Maybe fewer people will kiss me because of this. I sure hope not, but if that's the case, at least I will know that those who choose to kiss me (or ahem) are doing so with full knowledge of the health risks.

There is a rare condition called eczema herpeticum that apparently can be dangerous when you add HSV1 to the mix. You don't know what someone's health situation is, and there are some cases where HSV1 may not be a big deal in your life, but can cause complications in the other person's life. There may well be other situations where HSV1 could be a more serious problem for the other person than I am aware of, so I don't have the right to make that choice for someone else, methinks.

Like one of the repliers, I am trying to handle this by making it well known so that the people around me know what the deal is and can make their choices without too much awkwardness around the topic, but meh, given a choice, I'll disclose to be sure. Maybe make a cute button to wear to play parties, dunno.