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11 April 2011 @ 01:57 pm
California dreaming  
I've been in California for about a month now, and I've hardly posted about it. In some ways, I feel like I've hardly had time to do it, and in other ways, I've had so much time that it hasn't seemed necessary to put anything down in words.

Being here is a delight. Of course it mainly comes down to the people, as it always does. contessagrrl, sol3 and elvendoll have so completely welcomed me into their home as a temporary roommate that I've been calling the House of Trouble "home" basically since day 1. It has been such a treat to see them and other people out here in a more day-to-day way than I ever have before. Even so, there are plenty of people who I've only seen once or twice; there are a lot of fantastic people around here.

It has also driven home how completely I have a foot on the ground here, and one in Boston. I've been trying to "solve" that problem for years -- always toying with the idea of moving here, and somewhere in the back of my head aware that as soon as I move here, I'll switch from missing my SF people all the time to missing my Boston people all the time. This is true, and it's going to keep being true, and there's no fixing it.

Over the weekend, I had an important realization that not only is there no solution, but that perhaps this isn't actually a problem as such. I think I really like and value having a foot in both places, not just in terms of where I live, but in all sorts of ways in my life. I have occasionally thought -- sometimes with a certain amount of self-flagellation for not being a "good" career woman -- that I'm just not a person who has a clear career path. But it's true in a lot of ways that I'm a generalist. I really like variety, and I think this kind of split and balance is actually really important to my happiness and sense of self. That doesn't stop it also being frustrating and sometimes unsatisfying, but it doesn't make it wrong or bad, and so it might be a big favor to myself if I can stop feeling like I need to figure it out.

I still do need to figure out what I'm going to do for work, of course, but that feels like a more manageable project, suddenly. Know anyone who wants to hire me?
I'm feeling: contentcontent
Molotov Coqtizeestiplika on April 11th, 2011 09:14 pm (UTC)
Love this. ::smiling::
Chancemiss_chance on April 11th, 2011 09:25 pm (UTC)
My feelings about work got a lot less complicated once I realized a parallel between non-monogamy in my personal life and non-monogamy in my professional life. I don't look for the One True Relationship that will meet all my inter-personal needs. Why was I expecting to find One True Career that would meet all my professional needs? I'm much happier mixing up a little of this, and a little of that.

Today is the kind of day one stays in New Englang for, though. The only thing I could say against the weather is that it's left me nothing to complain about. ;-)
unintentionally intimidating: bordercoraline on April 11th, 2011 10:20 pm (UTC)
i completely hear you on the generalist dissatisfaction thing. there is so much of the world that delivers anti-generalist messages, i found it took a long time to get at all ok with what i actually wanted and was best at.
(not that i've accomplished that yet, but i spend a lot less time beating myself up than before i talked to E a lot about it :)
Living in Oblivionblivious on April 11th, 2011 11:08 pm (UTC)
I have an opening...
ruthless compassion: pouncearoraborealis on April 12th, 2011 12:14 am (UTC)
I don't suppose it provides for telecommuting ... :)
Delores: swandebsquared on April 12th, 2011 01:16 am (UTC)
I'm glad you are having fun, and Boston is looking forward to having you back!

Regarding work, I also consider myself a generalist and enjoy a changing environment. A few years ago I started focusing on "project work" so that I'm always doing something different-- can be consulting or change management within an organization. Maybe that approach would work for you?
Scheherazade is my patron saint.: Walt Whitmana_kosmos on April 12th, 2011 05:40 am (UTC)
You contain multitudes!
DancingWolfGrrldancingwolfgrrl on April 12th, 2011 01:01 pm (UTC)
Hooray for reframing! I love it so much when that trick works.

We are hiring, but I think the job would probably both be a waste of your talents and drive you nuts, so despite the awesomeness of having you as a coworker, I'm not even going to recommend it :)